HOW THE SCORECARD WORKS

Instructions:

The scorecard is a 2-part self-assessment that takes approximately 2 minutes.

For each statement, circle:

• 0 = Not True | • 1 = Sometimes | • 2 = Often | • 3 = Consistent

HIS EMOTIONAL AVAILABILITY (BEHAVIOR SCORE)

1. He’s clear about wanting to see me and follows through. *

2. His effort is steady (not intense then absent). *

3. When there’s tension, he comes back to repair (no punishing silence, no disappearing). *

4. He can talk about real feelings without shutting down or getting defensive. *

5. He respects boundaries (even if he doesn’t love them). *

6. He contributes without me managing the connection. *

7. His words and actions match—there’s integrity. *

How to score (quick):

For each statement, circle:

0 = not true • 1 = sometimes • 2 = often • 3 = consistent

MY “SAFETY SYSTEM” (PROTECTION SCORE)

(This is the part successful women usually don’t measure—yet it silently runs the show.)

1. When a man is steady and kind, part of me looks for “the catch.” *

2. When I start to care, I tighten up and stay in control (busy, productive, guarded). *

3. Deep down, I don’t trust consistency to last—so I brace for disappointment. *

4. When I feel emotionally exposed, I pull back instead of letting him support me. *

5. I’m more comfortable giving than receiving. Receiving feels risky. *

6. If love went well, I’m afraid I’d lose freedom or lose myself. *

7. If a man feels strong or intense, my system quickly goes into self-protection. *